The Twitter Twat

If I had to guess, I’d predict…

Your friends are supportive of you as long as your success is equal to- or lesser than- their own.

This is not a social law, more of a social observation. A great way to judge if your friends fall into this category is to monitor their twitter feeds- as well as your own.

It took me awhile to figure out the point of Twitter. I didn’t understand what to write about. I was being criticized for not Tweeting right, or not often enough, etc. So I studied the feeds over time and realized everyone has a different agenda with Twitter. Eventually I was able to identify the various types of Tweets that populate this short-form universe…

  • The Deep Tweet – This usually involves tragic observations about life, obscure micro “Thank you” letters to Mother Nature for being so beautiful, or retweets from the Dalai Lama (I’m guilty of this category).
  • The Clever for Sake of Clever Tweet – It seems every comedian- or anyone who fancies herself somewhat humorous- uses Twitter as a forum for trying out one-liners (again, guilty).
  • The Random Rant Tweet – When your venting about something – or most likely, someone– very specific yet veiling the message in an innocent generality about life. (more than likely the anonymous subject is a follower and will see the message and, in effect, the Random Rant Tweeters point of view… again, guilty as charged).
  • The Shameless Self-Promotion Tweet – These days there’s nothing wrong with letting the world know you’re going to be appearing on TV tomorrow, that you’re having a baby, or that your company’s Pink Taco Truck is gonna be on Wilshire Blvd at 8PM tonight! Its actually considered a necessity for most businesses who realize the power of free advertising.
  • The Benevolent Selfless Promotion Tweet – There’s certainly nothing wrong with letting the world know your actor friend is gonna be on TV tonight, your cousin is having a baby, or your favorite Pink Taco Truck is going to be on Wilshire Blvd…
  • The Any and Every Moment of My Life Tweet – These are the tweets that clog up our feeds, sometimes Tourette’s-style with several in a row, about the turkey sandwich they ate for lunch, their cat that always “just jumped on my crotch” or simply tweets that express their feelings… =(…  (you most likely “don’t follow these people any more”).

and then there’s…

  • The Twitter Twat – This is the person who makes snarky comments about your tweets, spoils the ending to newly released movies, or otherwise takes selfish promotion to an insensitive, boasting level… making the readers cringe and possibly, God forbid, UNFOLLOW said Twitter Twat.  (If you think this blog post is a personal affront against you, specifically… well, you’re probably right.)

The problem is everyone is their own incomparable judge of whether another person is being a Twitter Twat or not. I’ve noticed some of my friends complaining of jealous followers accusing them of “boasting” with their tweet-posts. In some cases I can agree with the offended parties; but in other cases I believe its purely a case of frustration with the viewers own lack of life success.

Despite the many hurdles in my own life, I’ve slowly grown comfortable with the pacing of my career and family development, and I am genuinely happy for any of my friends’ success. I don’t find other people’s tweets offensive. And while I share with the world my moments of happiness and success my intentions are never to make anyone feel inferior; nor should they because there are many, many more successful people than I out there whose tweets can be viewed as “boastful.”

My unsolicited suggestion is this…

Be whatever kind of tweeter you want to be. Someone is going to tell you you’re doing it wrong. Others are going to admire you for using Twitter “the way its supposed to be used.”  As long as you’re not intentionally being an insensitive Twitter Twat I say the world’s your oyster. So let the world see your pearl… (or is that clams…?)


UNFOLLOW @Jesse_Warren

~ JW